Not without my daughter

My part time maid is one of many who have come to Delhi seeking livelihood. She and her family are from Cooch Behar in North Bengal region. She can barely speak or understand Hindi and sometimes it is a real challenge to communicate with her. Thankfully for me (and her), I’ve stayed in Falakata (about 45 mins. drive from Cooch Behar) and I manage to understand her dialect and accent. Beyond the fact that she is neat and is thorough in her work, I’ve never paid attention to her. Last week she told me that she is getting her daughter married back home and would need to go back for a couple of months and if I could provide her some monetary help. I was a bit irritated at this sudden announcement but didn’t inquire any further and said OK. I took out some old clothes and gave her some money for her daughter’s wedding and asked her to provide me a replacement while she is away.

Today morning she brought her daughter along to say Thank You for the clothes. The daughter appeared smart and was accompanying her to all the houses from where they had received help. I congratulated her and asked her what she did otherwise.

She told me that her father’s family back home wanted to marry her off when she was about 16 years old and all she wanted to do was study and be a Graduate. Her parents supported her and she finished her Senior Secondary and joined a Government College for Graduation amidst vehement opposition from the extended family. The year before last, which was also the Final year of her Graduation, her Uncles gave the ultimatum to her father to either marry her off or leave the Joint Family home. Her parents sat her down and asked her what she wanted. She repeated that she wanted to finish her Graduation and then do B.Ed. and become a teacher. They packed their bags overnight and boarded the train to Delhi. She and her mother started working as part time maids and the father washes cars for livelihood. Her younger sister and brother continued to go to school in Delhi.

She went back home to appear for her Final exams for Final year and after having scored a decent score joined a B.Ed College there. Her parents put her in a hostel without informing the family in Cooch Behar. Now she has finished her education and is applying for a job of her dreams. She is getting married to one of her batchmates from the B.Ed college.

 I was suitably impressed and felt a sense of pure happiness in my heart.I called my maid who was busy sweeping in the house and asked her “You didn’t feel scared to stand up against the entire family?” She replied in broken Hindi “I feel it is not enough to give birth to be a mother.I can’t deny her opportunities and dreams. And I can’t be happy if she is not happy!” I throat choked at the sentiment and I wished them both happiness and best of luck.

 

I’ll think of this story every time I read and hear about how girls are mistreated in our society to remind myself that this too is a reality.I honestly have nothing more to add …